People will wear you out! As a parent and individual, setting boundaries is necessary to sustain a healthy life. So much time is devoted to your work-life, children, family, spouse, and extracurricular activities. Strength is found in setting necessary boundaries and being prepared to say, “No.”
As an individual, there are many boundaries you can set to ultimately achieve a healthy life. Elizabeth Earnshaw- LMFT provides 6 boundary types and how to maintain them.
The statements provided within this article are for factual purposes, only. If you are seeking additional help in the realms of setting boundaries and maintaining relationships, please consult with your local therapist.
What Are Boundaries?
Boudaries are not a reason to be unkind or build a brick wall. Establishing healthy boundaries are essential to healthy relationships. Without healthy boundaries, relationships do not thrive—they result in feelings of resentment, disappointment, or violation. Boundaries are your personal limits.
Types of Boundaries
Physical boundaries center around physical proximity. This includes personal space and attending to your physical needs. If you are not a hugger, it is OK to let people know you do not like to be touched that way.
Healthy physical boundaries might sound like:
- “I am really tired. I need to sit down now.”
- “I am not a big hugger. I am a handshake person.”
- “I need to eat. I am going to go grab something.”
- “I am allergic to [insert here], so we can’t have that in our home.”
- “No. I don’t want you to touch me like that.”
- “Don’t go into my room without asking first.”
Physical boundary violations feel like receiving inappropriate or unwanted touch, being denied your physical needs (told to keep walking when you are tired or that you need to wait to eat or drink).
Setting clear emotional boundaries includes knowing how much emotional energy you have and how much you can give. Also, this includes knowing when and how to respond emotionally. If you know someone will react poorly to your emotional energy, limit how much you share with this individual. If there is a healthy emotional relationship between you and another individual, you may be more comfortable with sharing information.
Healthy Emotional Boundaries may look like this:
- “When I share my feelings with you and get criticized, it makes me totally shut down. I can only share with you if you are able to respond respectfully to me.”
- “I am so sorry you are having such a tough time. Right now, I am not in a place to take in all of this information. Do you think we can come back to this conversation later?”
- “I am having a hard time and really need to talk. Are you in a place to listen right now?”
- “I really can’t talk about that right now. It isn’t the right time.”
When the boundary line is crossed, you can expect the following:
- Dismissing and criticizing feelings
- Asking questions that are not appropriate for the relationship
- Reading or going through personal and emotional information
- Asking people to justify their feelings
- Assuming we know how other people feel
- Telling other people how they feel
- “Emotionally dumping” on people without their permission
- Sharing inappropriate emotional information with your children
Time is non-refundable. There is great value in protecting your time. Setting time boundaries means understanding your priorities and setting aside enough time for the many areas of your life without overcommitting. Setting time boundaries encompasses the ability to say, “No.”
Healthy Time Boundaries look like:
- “I can’t come to that event this weekend.”
- “I can only stay for an hour.”
- “Do you have time to chat today?”
- “I would love to help, but I would be overcommitting myself. Is there another time?”
- “We have family time on Sundays, so we won’t make it.”
- “I am happy to help with that. My hourly rate is…”
When these boundaries are crossed, it looks like the following:
- Keeping people in conversations longer than intended.
- Cancelling on people because we have overcommitted
- Demanding time from people
- Asking professionals for their time and not paying them
Intellectual boundaries refer to your thoughts, ideas, and curiosity. Healthy intellectual boundaries include respect for the ideas of other people, and they can be violated when your thoughts and curiosity are shut down, dismissed, or belittled.
Healthy Intellectual Boundaries look like:
- “I know we disagree, but I won’t let you belittle me like that.”
- “I would love to talk about this more, but I don’t think talking about it during Thanksgiving dinner is the best time.”
- “When we talk about this, we don’t get very far. I think it is a good idea to avoid the conversation right now.”
- “I can respect that we have different opinions on this.”
The presence of intellectual boundaries does not mean the acceptance of all ideas, concepts, and perspectives. Recognizing the differences between you and others and choosing to maintain a healthy relationship and discourse is the direction to take for achieving healthy intellectual boundaries.
Material possessions include your car, home, furniture and money. It is important to understand the items you can and cannot share with others. Having healthy material limits include the following:
- “I can’t lend out my car. I am the only person on the insurance.”
- “We can’t give any more money. We would be happy to help in another way.”
- “Sure! I am happy to share my dress with you. Just a heads-up, I do need it back by Friday.”
Material boundaries are violated when your things are destroyed or stolen or when they are “borrowed” too frequently. Another material violation is the use of materials (money and possessions) to manipulate and control relationships.
Content provided by Elizabeth Earnshaw- LMFT
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When it starts to rain, typically, the first instinct is to run and take cover inside. However, after reading this today, you may change your mind. This is because you will learn the health benefits of going out into the rain.
1. The air is purer.
After a heavy rainfall, the air is purer because as raindrops fall through the atmosphere, they have the ability to attract hundreds of particles of pollutants like dander, soot, sulfates and bacteria before hitting the ground.
2. Rain is good for your hair and skin.
Rain water is high in alkaline which is good for your hair and skin and does not contain harmful minerals. High levels of humidity in the air help keep your skin fresh.
3. Walks in the rain burn more calories and build more muscles.
Much like walks on the beach, walking or running in muddier surfaces forces you to use more muscle strength to move your legs and feet.
4. Chemicals released in the rain are stress reducing.
When water molecules crash together, as they do in falling rain, they create negative ions. Some researchers believe when these negative ions are inhaled, they create a chemical reaction that can reduce stress and anxiety. Read more on The Pyschology of Rain by clicking the link.
5. Running in the rain can increase metabolism and performance.
When performing any kind of exercise, your body’s temperature tends to increase, if you are working out in colder temperatures, the environment is helping cool your body and maintain a more stable temperature. This allows you to work harder for longer due to a lesser risk of overheating. As always, consult your Physician before trying a now workout regime.
6. Boost Your Immune System
This is done by exposing yourself to various different temperatures and life outside of the house. As a result, you will develop a stronger immune system for the future.
7. Connect with Nature
This is another way to connect with nature and it’s elements. Typically, we are indoors when it rains. It is a nice concept to embrace all of nature’s elements.
Read more here
Tips to Successfully Run in The Rain
1. Stay safe and inside if it is a severe storm or produces thunder, lightening, hail or tornadoes.
2. Dress appropriately in rain gear that will keep you somewhat dry. The goal is to enjoy the rain but not develop hypothermia or any other related illness.
3. Seal off electronics such as your iPhone or watch in a waterproof case.
- Seals live in the cold ocean waters of the Arctic or off the coasts of Antarctica depending on the type of seal.
- Fur seals and sea lions live in the Northern Pacific between Asia and North America and off the coasts of South America, Antarctica, southwestern Africa and southern Australia.
- Harp, ringed, hooded, spotted, bearded and ribbon seals live in the Arctic. Crabeater, Weddell, leopard and Ross seals live in the Antarctic.
- Seals also make caves to live within.
- Seals are known to eat fish, but they will also eat eel, squid, octopus and lobster.
- A seal mom milk can be 50% fat and baby seals can drink 2kgs a day!
- It is estimated there are 2 million to 75 million individual seals, according to the IUCN.
- Seas prefer cold water! That explains why they are found in Antartica!
- In the wild, seals can live for up to 30 years with females having a higher life expectancy than the males.
- Seals can sleep underwater!
- Seal baby and mom recognize each other with a wild call after experiencing separation.
Best Seal Spotting Locations in Long Island, NY
E-learning is the use of computer technologies to explore learning opportunities.
E-learning is not a one-package deal. There are multiple ways to explore e-learning.
E-learning is not one particular tool or management system.
E-learning centers around providing accessibility and the integration of technology to meet the needs of the varying learning styles of its learners.
“Effective e-learning starts with great instructional design.“
Instructional design requires selecting, organizing, and specifying the learning materials to create an online course.
Instructional design translates high-level objectives to choices for technology and content
Instructional design provides insight on online tools, management systems, and other technologies
Together, we work as a TEAM!
There are numerous instructional design models:
Multimedia Principle Model
Gagne’s Nine Principles
And many more!
Course Design: Addie Model
Step #1 Analysis — Why is the training/course needed? We collect information and profile target learners, and understanding the needs and expectations of the organization. Analysis drives design and the development process.
Step #2 Design —In this phase, IDs select the instructional strategy to follow, write objectives, choose appropriate media and delivery methods.
Step #3 Development — IDs utilize agreed expectations from the Design phase to develop the course materials.
Step #4 Implementation — The course is released/rolled-out, delivered, to the learners, and its impact is monitored.
Step # 5 Evaluation — Is the course providing the expected results? IDs collaborate with the client and evaluate the impact of the course based on learner feedback, surveys, and even analytics.
Course Design: Merrill’s Principles
Learning is promoted when learners are engaged in solving real-world problems
Learning is promoted when prior knowledge is activated as a foundation for new knowledge
Learning is promoted when new knowledge is demonstrated to the learner — they are shown, rather than just being told.
Learning is promoted when new knowledge is applied by the learner — they are required to use their new knowledge or skill to solve problems.
Learning is promoted when new knowledge is integrated into the learner’s world — they are able to demonstrate improvement in their newly acquired skills and to modify it for use in their daily work.
Resources: Merrill, M.D. (2002). First principles of instruction. Educational Technology, Research and Development, 50(3), pp43-59.
Alignment of Goals and Objectives
Consider a wide range of goals
Identify real goals through research
Objectives are clear, precise, and worthy
Identify what each objective needs
Identify high value objectives and eliminate unnecessary objectives
•Visual (spatial):You prefer using pictures, images, and spatial understanding.
•Aural (auditory-musical): You prefer using sound and music.
•Verbal (linguistic): You prefer using words, both in speech and writing.
•Physical (kinesthetic): You prefer using your body, hands and sense of touch.
•Logical (mathematical): You prefer using logic, reasoning and systems.
•Social (interpersonal): You prefer to learn in groups or with other people.
•Solitary (intrapersonal): You prefer to work alone and use self-study.
Types of Online Learning
In synchronous learning activities, all students are involved at the same time. Formats include online chats, instant messaging, video or audio conferences, live webcasting and virtual classrooms.
With asynchronous learning, students set their own schedules. An entirely self-paced curriculum fits this model. Courses that have both synchronous and asynchronous components might include discussion forums, email, blogs, videos, webcasting, simulations, and games.
“Establish requirements for making the goods, services, facilities, privileges, accommodations, or advantages offered by public accommodations via the Internet, specifically at sites on the World Wide Web (Web), accessible to individuals with disabilities.”
5 Steps to Creating Accessible Online Content for People with Disabilities
10 Steps to Designing
a Wildly Successful Online Course
1. Choose perfect course topic
2. Ensure course is in high demand
3. Create magnetic and compelling learning outcomes
4. Select and gather course content ¡5. Structure modules and course plan
6. Determine most effective and delivery methods for each lesson
7. Filming, editing and recording online course (i.e. including visuals)
8. Setting up online school through LMS or other platform
9. Ensure pricing is in tact
10. Develop marketing strategy
“Design is thinking made visual.” – Saul Bass
Marilynn Andrews, M. A.
Learn how to format your Word document using the ‘Styles’ feature in Microsoft.
Microsoft Word has a tools known as styles, which help in formatting a document. The styles tool can be found in the Home ribbon of Microsoft Word.
The purpose of Styles tool is to allow the user to classify certain formatting characteristics as a specific ‘style.’
To create a style, select at least one word you wish to format. Then, change its formatting specifications to match the style you wish to create.
Once your selected word(s) are formatted to your specifications, you can then tell Microsoft Word to make these specifications a ‘style’ by going to the style menu and clicking “New Style.”
The new style window should appear, allowing you to specify the characteristics of your new style. It should already contain the formatting specifications, so all you’ll need to do is name it and then click OK.
You should now see your newly created style within the Style menu.
By Marilynn Andrews, M.A.
This past year, teachers found themselves in a dilemma. There was a common question of how do we deliver the same education to our students when we cannot see one another face-to-face?
For some, the term “virtual learning” has been a humdrum phrase, overused this past year- in the face of adversity (better known as COVID-19).
For others, the term “virtual learning” has opened an entirely new world of platforms for delivering and receiving education.
For perspective, veteran educators may have found it a bit difficult to adapt to the virtual platform settings, in comparison to traditional teaching in a physical classroom setting. In retrospect, novice educators may have adapted to varying online platforms, but lacked the preparation, enthusiasm, or experience to maintain each lesson.
There is no clear cut resolution to the individual experiences of educators while teaching remotely. However, one thing is for certain, the use of one’s own skillset set the standard for remote learning this past year.
The previously mentioned novice and experienced educators may have utilized their skills regarding Google platforms, Apple products, Zoom, Android, Facebook video conferencing tools, and Microsoft Teams to reach students. The background knowledge of video conferencing mixed with educational experiences and knowledge created welcoming, learning/virtual environments. Teachers were able to adapt to the ever changing virtual environments through technology platforms, along with the individual needs of their children and families, throughout the entire remote year. However, much consideration had to be taken, regarding day-to-day activities, as virtual learning did not leave much room for lack of preparation and planning.
For some experienced and novice educators, transitioning to a 100% virtual platform presented a different challenge. The concept of spending an entire career within a classroom setting and moving to a remote setting resulted in another level of passion, patience, and perseverance. Hours of preparation along with high levels of energy to deliver these same lessons, were the result of the same descriptive statements mentioned above. For some Teachers, learning how to navigate virtual platforms and then turning around to teach families how to navigate these same tools became a day-to-day reality.
For engagement, Teachers hopped around, sung songs, danced in the camera, scheduled Zoom’s with small children, conducted Parent Teacher Conferences remotely, and even participated in virtual field trips.
Amongst the daily lessons, it became extremely usual to witness a Teacher high-fiving her students through the computer screen. Teachers prepared packets for families and students to take home and possibly return. An unlimited number of phone calls, texts, emails, online professional developments, along with teaching were the result of the 2020 Covid-19 virtual lessons. It’s safe to say, that educators alike utilized their individual skill sets in order to deliver quality virtual lessons to students.
These skills are all things we can continue to take along the journey of teaching and learning.
Marilynn Andrews, M.A.
Fantastic article I found on Ed Surge over providing quality lessons through Zoom. Read below by clicking the link:
Overall, the skills and strategies that preschool teachers already have in their arsenal will still prove enormously helpful even as the medium of instruction changes…